Non-understandable

First off, I think I just made-up a word for my title.  You grammar folks may not be too happy with me, but I like to think of myself as a bit creative so we’ll just go with it.  Due to our boy being due soon, my mind has been on the topic of fatherhood and all that goes with it.  For some, this post may confirm what you experienced in childhood with your own father.  For others, what I am going to share will be completely foreign because your own father, if he was there, showed nothing of my own thoughts on fatherhood.  And then for others, it could be a combination of both.

For those in the second group I mentioned, I am sorry.  I will not try to rationalize or make excuses for a father not fulfilling his role as he should.  My prayer is that you find healing from the wounds you must deal with each day.

Like I said, my mind has been on fatherhood.  With a little one on the way, I can only pray for the wisdom to teach, train, love, discipline, and guide my children (and try to listen and read from those who already have).  But a couple of days ago, I couldn’t shake the idea of why it is I love my children so much.  While I love my wife just as much, I can put to words better my love for my wife.  Yes, it is a daily choice but I love her for all the little and big things she does, for the way she makes arepas, the way she smiles and makes up English words from Spanish ones, the way she cares for our son, the look on her face when she really wants something.  I love her for all these things and countless more.  But with my kids it is different.

Samuel has never in his life done anything for me.  He never offered to clean his room, take out the trash, wash the truck, or do the laundry.  He can’t clean the kitchen yet, vacuum, clean the windows, or run to the store.  Basically, all he does is take and consume.  The biggest thing he gives now are smiles and laughs.  But that doesn’t explain why I would lay down my life for this little child since the day he was born.  It just is.  My love for my son is non-understandable.  I look at Samuel and love him just because he is there and is.  He offers me nothing.  He does nothing in exchange for this love.  He is simply mine and I love him.

As humans, we accept this concept of parental love every day.  We see parents playing with their kids, teaching them, showing them how to drive, eat, and throw a ball.  And we immediately reject the idea that to not love one’s child is a normal thing.  When we witness examples of child abuse or neglect, we automatically know that there is something wrong.  It goes against something that has been implanted in our DNA.  Our children are to be loved.

But why is it that we have such a hard time imagining a God who loves us just for being His children?  I know that often times it comes from hurts from our own earthly fathers but think about it, especially those who have kids of your own.  There has never been any doubt from the moment you knew you would have this child that the child would be loved.  And it was never a matter what that child would do for you or whether they would get in trouble or hurt you or wreck your car or date the wrong person or make any of a million mistakes.  It was a non-negotiable….the non-understandable love would always prevail.  Our Father in heaven is the same.  But why is it so hard to accept.  We strive and strain and read and obey and act and sing and fall on our knees and all these other things trying to gain approval when God, our Father, is simply saying, “It is not what you do, my love for you simply is.”  Non-understandable…

Below is a music video form one of my favorite Latin artist.  If you understand Spanish, all the better.  If not, just focus on what you see.

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